We won't sleep together?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
