I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
