im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
