So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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