names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
