cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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