reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
