Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
