that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
