i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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