so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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