i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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