Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
