oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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