kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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