I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
