Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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