Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
