i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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