I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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