I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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