it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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