overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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