whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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