Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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