woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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