I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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