I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
True strength comes from lack of pants
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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