Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
