he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
