I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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