You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
