My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
