'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
