If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
where are my eyebrows?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
