just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
