addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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