Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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