Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
