The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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