Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
