I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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