I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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