How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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