Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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