when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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