Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
