She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
