I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize