wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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