Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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