So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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