My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
