I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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