I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
