haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
