i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
