I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
