I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
