What a fucking waste of an outfit
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize