how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
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Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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